Divorce can be one of the hardest trials to go through during a person’s lifetime. And holidays can make it feel even worse. Holidays such as Thanksgiving and Christmas have a familial undertone for large families, but if you and your significant other celebrated alone, it will be another event you’ll have to encounter as a single person and with a new kind of fortitude. Here are a few tips to get you through the next few romantic holidays.
Find a Therapist
One of the most valuable resources you can have is someone to listen to your emotional difficulties. If your spouse used to be your sounding board, his or her absence might be leaving you at a loss for how to vent your anger, frustration, and grief now that you’re mid-divorce. What separates a good therapist from friends and family is objectivity. A counselor will not default to saying your spouse is “really just a good person” because they’ve known each other all their lives. Nor will he or she judge you for “breaking up the family.”
While loved ones can sometimes be an excellent support system, not all are. It’s difficult to listen to your grief if they feel like they’re experiencing it themselves. A therapist’s distance, in addition to his or her knowledge of coping strategies, can help you work through issues brought up by the divorce without the extra baggage that comes with the extensive knowledge of a couple’s history. If your insurance doesn’t cover therapy, there are several low-cost resources available for those who need financial support.
Be a Date for Yourself or a Close Friend
If you’re looking at a time like Valentine’s Day, a period where most retail stores are covered in pink and red hearts, it’s almost impossible to ignore the event. So, don’t try. If you have other single or divorcing friends, be each other’s dates. Get together to watch a funny movie, grab a drink, or go to a museum. If you and your friends entertain each other all day, you won’t have time to feel sorry for yourselves. You can also be your own date, for Valentine’s or any other holiday. Buy yourself a treat, go get a massage, make a gourmet dinner for yourself—however you feel like pampering yourself, go for it.
Take Care of Yourself
Though you may not feel like getting out of bed in the morning, it’s important to care of yourself. Eat a healthy breakfast in the morning, brush your teeth, and go for a walk. It’s easy to fall into a downward spiral of grief during a divorce. You can go one day without brushing your hair, taking a shower, or eating anything substantial. While there’s nothing wrong with grieving, you need to keep living your life at the same time. Sooner or later, the grief will slough away, just leaving your regular, day-to-day life looking back to normal.
If you’re going through a divorce, remember you’re not alone. Thousands of other people are facing the same difficulties you are, even during the holidays that seem to emphasize the idea of “togetherness” and “romance.” Contact one of our San Diego divorce attorneys if you’d like to discuss your case today.