Starting Over: The Smartest First Steps to Take When Considering Divorce

For many people, deciding to end a marriage is one of the most difficult and emotional choices they’ll ever make. Even when both partners agree it’s time to move forward, the process can feel overwhelming. At Moore, Schulman & Moore, we understand that divorce isn’t just a legal matter—it’s deeply personal. Taking the right first steps can help you move forward with confidence and clarity.

Here’s what you should know as you begin this journey.

Take Time to Understand Your Goals and Priorities

Before you make any formal moves, take a step back to think about what truly matters most to you both now and in the future.  Ask yourself questions like:

What are my biggest concerns—emotional, financial, or related to my children?
What do I hope life will look like after the divorce?
What kind of co-parenting relationship do I want to maintain?

Your answers will help guide not only your decisions but also the type of legal approach that’s right for you. For some, that may mean a collaborative process focused on compromise and mutual respect. For others, it may mean a more traditional litigation path to protect financial or parental interests.

Gather Key Financial Information Early

Divorce has emotional aspects, but it’s also a major financial event. Understanding your household finances from the start will help you and your attorney navigate property division, support, and future planning. Begin by collecting:

Tax returns (at least the past two years)
Bank and credit card statements
Mortgage, loan, and investment account statements
Retirement account information (401(k), IRA, pensions)
Pay stubs, business income, or other earnings documentation

Organizing these documents early can save you time, reduce stress, and allow your legal team to assess your situation quickly and accurately.

Learn About Your Legal Options

Every divorce is unique. California offers several ways to move forward depending on your circumstances and goals:

Mediation: A neutral third party helps both spouses reach a mutual agreement outside of court. This option often reduces conflict, saves money, and provides more privacy.
Collaborative Divorce: Each spouse has their own attorney, but all parties commit to resolving matters cooperatively without going to court.
Litigation: When major disputes can’t be resolved through negotiation, court involvement becomes necessary. An experienced trial attorney ensures your rights and interests are protected.

A knowledgeable family law attorney can help you evaluate which path best fits your situation.

Prioritize Your Children’s Well-Being

If you have children, they’re likely your top priority. Divorce can be confusing and stressful for kids, but thoughtful planning can make a big difference. Focus on:

Creating a parenting plan that fosters stability and consistency
Encouraging open communication and reassurance
Avoiding negative talk about the other parent in front of your children
Considering child-centered resources, such as counseling or support groups

At Moore, Schulman & Moore, our attorneys—many of whom are parents themselves—are dedicated to helping families create arrangements that support children’s emotional and developmental needs.

Protect Your Emotional Health

Even amicable divorces come with emotional challenges. Lean on a strong support network of friends, family, or professionals who can help you navigate the transition. Some clients find it helpful to:

Speak with a therapist or counselor
Join a divorce support group
Focus on physical health through exercise, sleep, and self-care
Practice mindfulness or journaling to process emotions

Remember: taking care of yourself isn’t selfish—it’s essential. The clearer your mind, the better you’ll be able to make decisions that serve your long-term well being.

Choose the Right Attorney

Selecting a family law attorney is one of the most important choices you’ll make. Look for someone who not only understands the law but also listens to your concerns and treats you with respect.

At Moore, Schulman & Moore, all of our founders are Board-Certified Family Law Specialists through the California Board of Legal Specialization—a distinction held by only a small percentage of attorneys in the state. Our team has decades of experience guiding clients through divorce with compassion, skill, and integrity.

We believe that family law is about more than legal outcomes. It’s about helping people build stable, hopeful futures.

Take It One Step at a Time

It’s normal to feel uncertain when you’re starting a divorce. The process involves many moving parts (financial, legal, and emotional) but you don’t have to handle them all at once.

By focusing on clear priorities, gathering information, and partnering with a trusted legal team, you can begin this next chapter from a place of knowledge and empowerment.

Here to Help

If you’re considering divorce or have questions about your options, the attorneys at Moore, Schulman & Moore are here to guide you. We offer trusted counsel, proven results, and a compassionate approach to help you move forward with confidence.