When parents decide to divorce or separate, one of the most emotional and important questions they face is: “What happens to the children?”
At Moore, Schulman & Moore, we know that every family is unique, but one principle remains the same across all cases: children do best when the adults put their well-being at the center of every decision. Creating a thoughtful, workable parenting plan and understanding custody rights in California can help ease the transition for children and give parents the clarity they need to co-parent successfully.
Here’s what every parent should understand as they explore how to handle child custody during a divorce.
What’s The difference: Legal Custody vs. Physical Custody
California recognizes two types of custody, and understanding them is key to building a strong parenting plan.
Legal Custody refers to the right to make decisions about your child’s health, education, welfare, and general upbringing. Parents with legal custody make decisions about:
- School and educational plans
- Medical and dental care
- Extracurricular activities
- Religious practices
- Counseling or therapy
Legal custody can be:
- Joint legal custody (most common), where both parents share decision-making, or
- Sole legal custody, where one parent has full authority, typically reserved for cases involving abuse, neglect, or extreme conflict.
Physical Custody refers to where the child lives and which parent handles day-to-day responsibilities. Physical custody can be:
- Joint, where the child spends significant time with both parents, or
- Sole/primary, where the child primarily lives with one parent and has scheduled visitation with the other.
A parenting plan must address both types of custody clearly.
The “Best Interest of the Child” Standard
California courts make custody decisions based on what is truly best for the child. This standard looks at a number of factors, including:
- The child’s health, safety, and welfare
- The nature of each parent’s relationship with the child
- Each parent’s ability to provide stability
- Any history of substance abuse, domestic violence, or neglect
- The child’s age and developmental needs
- Continuity in the child’s school, community, and daily life
Importantly, California law encourages frequent and continuing contact with both parents, unless doing so is unsafe or not in the child’s best interest.
Creating a Parenting Plan That Works in Real Life
A parenting plan is more than a schedule. It is a roadmap for co-parenting effectively. The most successful plans address not only where the children spend their time, but also how the parents will communicate and collaborate.
A strong parenting plan typically includes:
- Weekday and weekend schedules
- Holiday and vacation schedules
- Transportation responsibilities
- Bedtime and homework routines
- Communication guidelines between parents
- Decision-making processes for legal custody issues
- How to handle schedule changes or disagreements
At Moore, Schulman & Moore, we encourage parents to think deeply about their children’s routines, emotional needs, school responsibilities, and relationships with extended family. The goal is to reduce conflict and create predictability.
Managing Transitions Between Homes
For many children, transitioning between households is the hardest part of a custody arrangement. Even in amicable co-parenting situations, changes can be stressful, especially when children feel rushed, unprepared, or caught between parents.
To support smoother transitions:
- Keep communication child-focused and calm
- Use neutral pick-up and drop-off locations if needed
- Coordinate ahead on homework, clothes, and personal items
- Give children space to express feelings without taking sides
- Avoid discussing conflicts during transitions
Children thrive when they feel safe, prepared, and not pressured to choose between parents.
Co-Parenting in High-Conflict Situations
Not all divorces are amicable. In high-conflict cases, a more structured plan may be necessary. Tools that can help include:
- Parallel parenting, where parents disengage from each other and reduce direct contact
- Court-approved communication apps to track all communication
- Detailed parenting plans that minimize ambiguity
- Parenting coordinators or therapeutic intervention when appropriate
Even when the relationship between parents is strained, children benefit greatly from consistency and reduced exposure to conflict.
When Parenting Plans Need to Change
Life changes. Children grow. Jobs shift. Parents relocate. A parenting plan that worked for a toddler may no longer work for a teenager.
California allows parents to modify custody orders if there has been a significant change in circumstances and the modification is in the child’s best interest. Common reasons for modifications include:
- Changes in work schedules
- Relocation
- Child’s changing developmental or emotional needs
- School or extracurricular conflicts
- Concerns about safety or well-being
Our attorneys help parents navigate these changes with sensitivity and a child-focused perspective.
Your Child Deserves Stability, Clarity, and Compassionate Co-Parenting
Child custody cases are often emotionally charged, but with the right guidance and a focus on the children’s needs, families can build healthy, sustainable arrangements that support growth and stability.
At Moore, Schulman & Moore, our Board-Certified Family Law Specialists are committed to helping parents create custody plans that protect children, reduce conflict, and set families up for success during the divorce and beyond.