Tune Out Negativity
It may be hard to tune out your spouse's negative and derogative statements,
but just don't listen to them. If you let his or her words get to
you, you are only giving them what they want. They are only trying to
make you feel bad, so they best way to deal with it is to ignore it. Don't
even bother trying to argue or reason with them. They probably won't
listen and will most likely twist and turn the conversation around so
they are never to blame. It will be hard at first not to show emotion
and resist fighting back, but this is the best coping mechanism to deal
with someone with a high conflict personality.
Limit the Contact
To help with tuning out your spouse, limit contact with him/her as much
as possible. If you have children, you might not be able to cut your spouse
out of your life completely, but just restrain communication unless it
is about the children. A simple "hello" and "goodbye"
is plenty. Don't give them any reason to start an argument or attack you.
It may be hard trying not to fight back or cry or plead, but just remember
that is exactly what they want from you when they are creating drama.
Don't give them the satisfaction of winning. You will win the battle
by showing how much you don't care and how mature you are being. Even
when you are providing your lawyer with information, you should hold back
your emotions and present the information professionally. Don't let
your spouse get to you.
Hire a Good Lawyer
Find a San Diego divorce lawyer that understands high conflict divorces
and will best represent your legal rights. Although this can be financially
devastating, it is important to have someone on your team who knows about
the divorce process and can help guide you through it, especially when
you have to deal with a high conflict spouse.
If You Must, Get a Restraining Order
If your spouse starts to get too aggressive or you feel in danger, you
can always file a restraining order. Anyone can file for a restraining
order without a say by the other spouse. It will start off as temporary
restraining order until a hearing, where both parties can state their
case and judge decides how much longer the restraining order should be in play.
Start Your New Life
A final tip; just start your new life. That can be hard when you have an
ex that is constantly trying to remind you of the past. But they are only
trying to stop you from moving on. Be the bigger person and put the negativity
behind you. You deserve peace and happiness. Don't let anyone stop
you from having that.
Tell our San Diego divorce lawyers about your divorce during an initial
consultation: (858) 492-7968.